Don't have time for the Dissertation? Buy it!

As many of you know, Gmail gives you a sidebar of ads chosen based on key words in your emails. So after a few messages about my dissertation and the writing process, I'm getting dissertation-related ads. This would include some places for discount thesis binding, software and bibliography services, and a very entertaining link to a paper-writing service.

I had to check it out.

I will not link to them or mention their name, but this is a site that offers to write papers to order for you, anything from a high school term paper to a Ph.D. dissertation. Now, I've seen term paper writing sites before (and I've busted students who have hired them), but I must admit I've never seen one that offered MA theses and Ph.D. dissertations. How would that even work? Is your committee full of idiots?

The best (read: most ironic) part of the site was their warning on plagiarism. Aside from the obvious (buying your paper is plagiarism) they GUARANTEE that their work is not sold more than once, and therefore will not show up on plagiarism-tracking services that schools subscribe to these days. As one of their writers says, If research is conducted thoroughly and a good understanding of the subject is achieved, there should be no need for plagiarism.

They also include a disclaimer which basically refutes everything they've said elsewhere on the site: Our papers are produced for research purposes only; they are not to be submitted as your own work under any conditions. (I'm sure that's what your client base has in mind.) Plagiarists – are they pressed for time, or couldn’t they care less, or what? Ethics and morals need a place always, and whatever. (Whatever.)

Then there are the testimonials:

The paper looks well written
It looks well written? You couldn't even be bothered to read it after you'd paid for it?

Thank you very good essay. I am very hapy with you people. Before i tryed lots websites but your service is the best.
What can I say?

And of course, the company is hiring. The site advertises for new writers with the following material:

If you're an academic that wants to be part of the best there is and would relish the chance to help others succeed, then we want to hear from you. If your successful in your application you'll have the oppurtunity to receive a high yield flexible income whislt further refining your academic skills in the areas of your choice.

"Your?" "whislt?" I felt a strange compulsion to correct the grammar and spelling on their site. Perhaps print it out, mark it through with a red pen, and inform them that I would hesitate to give them a B on their work, despite their claims that all papers were B quality or better.

And from such a company, you can get a 200 page graduate thesis for the bargain basement price of $3990. Where do I sign up?



Eek! Don't want to be a plagiarist. I should note that all quotes in green are from www(dot)masterpapers(dot)com.