Tuesday, March 28, 2006

The Final Four: Megamerican Style

As the NCAA Final Four approaches this weekend, we, as a nation, must take this opportunity to show unwavering support for George Mason University. Anything less would be giving aid and comfort to our enemies. Let's break it down from a foreign policy standpoint:

George Mason was a patriot during the American Revolution. The University that bears his name is in the Patriot League Colonial Athletic Association. So clearly, any patriotic American [who believes in the Colonists' cause during the American Revolution -- ed.] cannot help but support them.

Their opponent in the next round is Florida, which was a Spanish colony while George Mason was being all revolutionary against the British. Not only that, but the team is anchored by a French guy. You hear me? A French guy!

So once GMU dispatches the Frenchies in the final four, they will face either UCLA (Spanish colony and bear aficionado) or LSU (French!) Either way, any American who believes in the Constitution, the President, and Toby Keith should realize that they must support George Mason in this endeavor.

Otherwise, the terrorists have already won.

9 Comments:

Blogger corndog said...

To the battlements, Patriots! We have nothing to lose but our glass slippers!

8:51 AM  
Blogger Quinn said...

You make me proud to be an American, Corndog! Welcome.

9:22 AM  
Blogger Nathan said...

Oh my god! They killed Kenny. Those bastards.

9:31 AM  
Blogger Neel Mehta said...

The University that bears his name is in the Patriot League.

Um, it's actually the Colonial Athletic Association. Bucknell's the one in the Patriot League.

Forget it, you're rolling.

10:00 AM  
Blogger Quinn said...

Dammit! I'm crushed.

To quote Dean Dad, "Here I am, all het up, and some fact comes along and complicates things. Grrr. This must be how Rumsfeld feels all the time."

10:16 AM  
Blogger Elle said...

quinn, in a rare disagreement, i must admit that i hope LSU CRUSHES THEM ALL!

12:26 PM  
Blogger Quinn said...

Why do you hate America, Elle?

12:51 PM  
Blogger Angry Pregnant Lawyer said...

George Mason is also responsible for a little thing called THE BILL OF RIGHTS. So, if you're like me and love America but not Toby Keith, you should still root for George Mason.

What did the French ever give us (besides some much-needed military assistance in the Revolutionary War and the Statue of Liberty)?

Bill of [Freakin'] Rights vs. lousy statue? You be the judge.

Go Mason.

1:05 PM  
Blogger Quinn said...

Listen, people. You can do what you want to me. But I am not going to sit here and listen to you BAD MOUTH the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!

Go Mason!

6:09 PM  

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