Monday, February 05, 2007

Blonde Jokes

Julie has a rant on her site about blonde jokes, and she makes some very valid points! (My favorite: Why is the blonde assumed to be female?) I started to comment, but then realized that what I wanted to say would be too long for a comment. So I'm making my own post. So here's my most memorable blonde joke experience:

I was a senior in high school, and still somewhat blonde (I've darkened as I've gotten older. Naturally!) I was in AP physics class, and we were taking some little practice quiz the first week of class about how fast a couple of trains would have to go to accomplish whatever it is trains accomplish in physics quizzes. Anyway, it was a multiple choice question and the answers were:

a) X miles per hour
b) Y miles per hour
c) Z miles per hour
d) faster than the speed of light.

While physics was never my strong suit, I figured out that the task was impossible. The teacher asked me what my answer was, and I said D. Several people in the class giggled, and one young fairhaired gentleman whom I had not met previously stood up, walked over to my desk, and gave me a button that read, "I'm naturally blonde. Please speak slowly."

Everybody laughed. The teacher pointed out that I was correct. I rather ostentatiously handed the button back to its owner. And the blush on the young man's face set his blonde hair off very nicely, I have to say!

That night, he called me and asked me out.

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Blogger KLee said...

Yeah -- we blondes get a bad rap! Of course, my blonde is no longer natural, and I have to resort to artificial intelligence (ie; the dye bottle) for that golden look. I, too, have darkened as I got older.

I'm glad that you were able to give that guy back his button. Showed him who's boss! So -- didja go out with him? :)

6:52 PM  
Blogger Nathan said...

That guy wasn't worth the gum under his desk. Presumably, at numerous times in his life, he got his come-uppance and then some.

After getting his button handed back to him, that nimrod probably learned that cute, blonde women in advanced science classes were not only really friggin smart but fun, too. And, although it wasn't Quinn the Brain, he probably ended up marryin' a blonde with a doctorate (I'm almost positive there must be a blonde-PhD joke out there somewhere).

That lucky bastard got more than he deserved. I think Quinn was too kind. He owes her an apology and a debt of gratitude. ;)

8:54 PM  
Blogger Nathan said...

Also, isn't "blonde" with an e at the end denote a female? If it's just "blond", no e, I think that refers to a male. Not sure, I'll have to google it.

9:05 PM  
Blogger Quinn said...

You're too hard on him. I was going to mention the PhD-holdin' blonde in his life...

And the two adorable blond boys he got out of the deal, too.

9:11 PM  
Anonymous kr said...

I thought said boy was pretty worthwhile, myself ;).

Besides, it takes a decent sense of humilty, plus some hutzpah, to call and ask a girl out after that exchange!

9:52 AM  
Blogger Andy said...

I think that's far less obnoxious than the marriage proposal Quinn received in chemistry.

And it's better than the guy who took you to frickin' Denny's for homecoming. What a low-class cheapskate!

As far as problems like this go, I'm with Michele: "Who cares? Who wants to go out with a guy who drives a rowboat?" (I can't believe that movie is ten years old now.)

10:24 AM  
Blogger Jade said...

Nathan - from Wikipedia:

"The linguists who support the Latin origins however say that Middle Latin blundus was a vulgar pronunciation of Latin flavus, also meaning yellow, the word was reintroduced into English in the 17th century from French and was until recently still felt as French, hence blonde for females and blond for males.[1] Writers of English will still distinguish between the masculine blond and the feminine blonde[2] and, as such, it is one of the few adjectives in English with separate masculine and feminine forms. However, many writers use only one of the spellings without regard to gender, and without a clear majority usage one way or another."

So giving the button back must have been a blond joke, not a blonde joke.

2:48 PM  
Blogger Quinn said...

Marriage proposal in chemistry? Can you refresh my foggy memory?

6:52 PM  
Blogger Nathan said...


Gotta love Wikipedia. Two questions:

What does it mean to be "felt as French"?

Writer's of opposed to writers of Amerikin?

Your research gave me a brilliant (or dumb, depending on how you like Trivial Pursuit) idea, but rather than hijack Quinn's post, go to my blog.

8:06 PM  
Blogger elle said...

did he just walk around with the button, waiting for opportune moments?

10:48 AM  
Blogger Andy said...

A certain chemistry teacher told me that you once received a proposal of matrimony in the middle of class from a certain S.H., much to your consternation.

1:00 PM  
Blogger Quinn said...

Was it of the "I'll marry you if you do my lab write-up?" variety? I don't recall this.

1:36 PM  
Blogger bdure said...

Now I'm mad. I was soooo sweet to the blonde in my chemistry class on whom I had the biggest crush, and I thought she was one of the smartest girls I knew.

But would she go out with me? Nooooo.

So you're telling me if I'd made a blonde joke, she would've married me?

Oh well. I know at least one person who's happy she said no.

6:30 AM  
Blogger Quinn said...

bdure, I did not marry said blond. I married a lovely brunette. In fact, to answer klee's question, I did not say yes when the blond asked me out (well, not the first time...)

7:29 AM  
Blogger Andy said...

Well, maybe it was a senility-induced fantasy...either mine or my stepfather's. Or perhaps in your senility you forgot it. ;P But I swear I recall hearing the story.

1:50 PM  
Anonymous kr said...

I think I recall an SH marriage proposal story ... pretty sure it was during the middle of the end of your dating the blond, though, so perhaps you were distracted.

I only recall such a thing because I'm pretty sure SH mentioned it to me (told to me in that hist-eng class, since I was infamously NOT in your Chem class (grrrr)) ... not being, despite all rumors to the contrary ;), in fact the favorite child of said chem teacher, I didn't get the gossip from him.

(I still have trouble not calling him My Chem Prof, and always did ... .)

That's two, let's see if SH reads this blog ;).

3:12 PM  
Blogger belledame222 said...

that is a very Quinn (i.e. namesake) story, somehow. i mean, toward the end of the show.

10:55 PM  
Blogger Quinn said...

Quinn toward the end as opposed to Tiffany toward then end... "This toaster is so shiny!"

8:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

more material on blonde jokes

including these smart blonde jokes

keep up the good work

6:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

lol i love blonde jokes but dont take them to heart!

8:42 AM  

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